Lessons learned harvesting my first goose.

Let me start with how it all went down. 

I didn’t mean to name the geese but, like an earwig that burrows into your brain, the name Bruce the Goose was named in my mind, even if I didn’t say it out loud. I later named the other goose, Bradshaw after Nick “Goose” Bradshaw from Top Gun.

I invited my son-n-law, Noah and my nephew, Zane (13) over to help. Noah Brought his brother Ethan and Zane brought his friend (whose name escapes me).

The first thing I did was to catch Bradshaw and place him in a cage inside the house. I didn’t want him to watch.

Then we caught Bruce and placed him in an old duffel bag like I had read on Homesteadingguide.com. This turned out to be excellent advice. It calmed Bruce down and helped to make the whole harvest more relaxing.

As I mentioned in an early blog, I had bought a 16.5” meat clever to do the deed with. I made sure it was razor sharp. We also made a chopping block out of six scrap 4x4’s and placed it on a saw horse.

I had intended on placing a string around the birds neck but decided not to because I was worried it might stress it out. I should have used the string.

Once everyone was ready, I gave Zane the camera and had him record it. Since I couldn’t find an instructional video - I will use the footage to make an instructional video later this year.

With Ethan holding the bag, I unzipped it just enough to allow Bruce to peak out.

I removed my hat – it just felt like I should.

Then Bruce, of his own accord, laid his head out across the block (see the picture). That’s when I did it.

The chop severed Bruce’s spine but I left about a quarter of his neck intact. Blood sprayed out and we let the bag fall to the ground.

With his spine severed, I know Bruce wasn’t in pain but it took about a minute for him to stop moving. In the video, you can hear a sad death grown about five or six times – I didn’t notice the sound in real time.

I had been very stressed about killing the bird but when it was over, I felt completely normal. I realized that Bruce was no different than the other birds I had bought from the store over the years – I was just more involved this time.

“I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” – Woody Allen

So what did I learn?

1. The duffel bag is a great way to kill a goose. It calmed the goose down and it calmed me down.
2. Use a string! If I had tied a string on Bruce’s neck, then I wouldn’t have rushed my chop and I would have cut his head clear off.
3. Cutting the head off removes just as much blood as slicing the throat. Countless videos said that if you cut the head off, the heart would stop pumping out the blood. This was not the case with Bruce. The blood sprayed out and when I cleaned him, there was almost zero blood inside of him.
4. Fatten up the goose. I wanted Bruce’s last days to be as happy as possible but allowing him to free range kept him from putting on any weight. Bruce was the skinniest bird I have ever cooked. In fact, he was barely an appetizer.
5. Get a young goose. Not that I had the option, as geese are really hard to find. But Bruce was older and his meat was so tough that I LITERALLY broke a sweat carving him on Christmas.

All and all, this was a good experience and I will definitely harvest more birds in the future. I’m not sure I will harvest a Christmas goose again but only because I made a turducken from scratch that came out much better (so that may be our new Christmas tradition).

Lastly, this is my first blog of 2019. Since I got so much traffic last year, I have moved to WordPress. I will continue to post the same blog on both Honeyhomestead.blog and Thebunglingbeekeeper.blogspot.com for now. However, I encourage you all to become followers on the honeyhomestead.blog site.

11 Days Until I Murder The Christmas Goose... Maybe?

When I get home from work, I go outside and watch them - it feels perverse. Like I should tell them to rub the lotion on their skin or something.

"Killing is not so easy as the innocent believe." - Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

I've said it once but I want to be clear - I've hunted animals before... this is different. It hasn't exactly kept me up at night but with a 45-yo bladder, I think about it all nine times I get up to pee each night.

To make matters worse, my back has been out since I bought them (though I am starting to feel better today). Nonetheless, the constant nagging water-torture like pain has made me an emotional basket case and a real douche to live with (sorry, Jen).

I bought a 16.5"/2.5lbs Meat Cleaver to do the deed. Is this how Dexter Morgan feels?

Then there's the other goose. Will it have survivor guilt. Will it pine for it's little friend. Then I think, maybe I should kill them both, that way neither one will miss the other. Is that psychopath thinking? "I'll kill you... I kill all your friends too just for knowing you!"

Maybe at the last minute I'll flinch... or maybe I'll go through with it and Jen will finding crying in the floor of the shower.

What if it looks at me?

"It's a nice day, Lennie. Go ahead and take off your hat."
"Okay, George. Are we going to have rabbits on the farm, George?"
"Sure, Lennie. Now look out across the river and imagine how it will be."
"Just me and you, George?"
"Sure, Lennie. Just you and me." BANG!

11 Days to go. Tick-tock, Clarice.

Progress 5.5 to 35gallons

This is just a note to myself:

Looking back in my blogs, I found that in 2012 (the first year we ever harvested) we collected 5 1/2 gallons. This year in 2018 we harvested 35 gallons.


"There are no secretes to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure." - Colin Powell

Building A Better Beetle Trap

I truly hope that someone smarter than me is working on eradicating the Small Hive Beetles.

"Build a better mouse trap and the world will beat a path to your door." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

However, until then, this is my latest attempt. I bought Catchmaster Home Pest Traps (glue traps for insects) 12 pack for $4.97. I then cut those glue traps in half, longways.

Then I made cage around it with #8 hardware cloth and placed a cue-tip inside. I used a syringe to put apple cider vinegar on the cue-tips for beetle bait (BTW it got in my eye and it burned like hell).

I only had time to make 9 Sticky Traps, so I put them in the 9 weakest hives - that being said, all of my hives seem very strong.

It should rain for the next week, so I'll check on the traps after that.

Other Hive Notes:

It was a very hot day (95F) . To be honest, at 400lbs, I was a little worried about the heat but I made it a point to take it slow. Much to my delight, I never got overheated and I was able to check all 20 hives and place a Swiffer Sheet in each one.

A word on my bee jacket: I bought a Ventilated Bee Jacket from Bushy Mountain. I've had 4 other cotton jackets and suits and I got stung through them all! However, this jacket is like Kevlar for bees. I got a little rough with one of my hives and the bees went nuts... but not one of them stung me through my jacket.

I pulled 24 frames of honey from 4 different supers. I found that using a bee brush to remove the bees from each frame works really well. It's not much of a solution for large harvests but while I am just pulling 15 or 20 supers, it works great.

Also, by pulling one frame at a time, I was able to spot the brood and leave it behind - as well as the uncapped frames.

I'm now up to 35 gallons of honey. I plan to reinvest all of the money into building more hives.

I also finally got out to the Old Farm. That one hive is still alive. It was dry out there that day but it is usually very wet (ankle deep). So I think I'll just bring it to my house this winter and never go back to the Old Farm after that.

Final Hive Count: 20-Hives & 1-Five Frame Nuc

The Accidental Split - 2018 Harvest Continues

"We don't make mistakes, just happy little accidents" - Bob Ross

Last night, Noah and I, attempted (without success) to put the trailer tire back on the rim. I am convinced that someone crept out to my trailer in the middle of the night and put a larger thinner tire on the rim.

Perhaps I'm paranoid but, then again, is it so inconceivable that someone bought a different tire, aged it so I wouldn't notice, then waited for the tire to come off the rim, then swapped my tire for theirs, and then hid and watched me fight for an hour to get a seal... all the while laughing manically? "When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." Well played, Tire Bandit... well played.

Well we bought a new tire, waited for the rain to pass, and then, with only a little daylight left, we decided to only take the top box from the 6 three deep hives.

To remove the bees from the supers, we smoked them until they ran down. Of course this didn't get rid of all the bees, so when I got home, I used my air-compressor to blow the rest of the bees out - that didn't work at all. Next time, I'll use the leaf blower.

The only way to keep the bees from coming into my house was to take the frames out, one by one and shake off the bees. Then two frames at a time, I carried them in. It was a totally unproductive way to go about it all.

However, as I was taking the frames out, I found 5 that had brood still in them (one with pretty young larva), so I grabbed an empty 5 frame nuc and made a split. Now I don't know if this will work, given there wasn't much pollen and the brood may have gotten chilled on the drive home. Nonetheless, I accidentally brought about 2lbs of bees to the house and this gave them a new home. If it works, then great. If not, nothing lost.

Today is my half-day at work but since it is expected to rain for the next 10 days, I will spend my time extracting the frames I brought home last night.

Super Count: 20 Hives and 1 Five-Frame-Nuc