Monday, December 17, 2018

Blueprint - 1x4 Deep Beehive Super

If anyone is interested, here is the Blueprint for my 1x4 deep beehive super.

"A Goal without a plan is just a wish." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery (That's is my new favorite quote!)

As I mentioned in an earlier blog this super is built with 1x4's and cost about $9.50 to build. Using nine 1x4's 8' long will give you four deep supers with almost no waste.




Here again is how you cut them for optimal efficiency:
Cut Board One: (3) 19 7/8" and (2) 14 3/4"
Cut Board Two: (5) 14 3/4" and (1) 19 7/8"
Cut Board Three: (4) 19 7/8" and (1) 14 3/4"
Then repeat two more times.

Keep the scraps for handles.

You will also need a scarp of wood to make the (3/8 x 5/8 x 16 1/4") end strips.

One thing I did different this weekend was that I bought some untreated cedar fence slats for the end strips. They were about 6' long 6" wide and 11/16" thick. I planed them down to 3/8" using my table saw (in what was obviously an unsafe manner). Then I cut them into 5/8" strips and cut them down to length.

It's a small bit of wood but maybe the cedar will keep the moths out.

Helpful tip: If you are fighting your saw, it might be time for a new blade. 

While cutting the cedar, I felt like I was date raping my saw. On inspection, I found that the 5-yo (overused) blade was missing the carbide tips on some of the teeth (or at least they were worn to nearly nothing). I replaced the blade and it cut like butter. I know I should have known better but it's not like you have to replace the blade that often.

If you like the plan or use it, leave a comment and let me know how it worked out for you.

Thursday, December 13, 2018

11 Days Until I Murder The Christmas Goose... Maybe?

When I get home from work, I go outside and watch them - it feels perverse. Like I should tell them to rub the lotion on their skin or something.

"Killing is not so easy as the innocent believe." - Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

I've said it once but I want to be clear - I've hunted animals before... this is different. It hasn't exactly kept me up at night but with a 45-yo bladder, I think about it all nine times I get up to pee each night.

To make matters worse, my back has been out since I bought them (though I am starting to feel better today). Nonetheless, the constant nagging water-torture like pain has made me an emotional basket case and a real douche to live with (sorry, Jen).

I bought a 16.5"/2.5lbs Meat Cleaver to do the deed. Is this how Dexter Morgan feels?

Then there's the other goose. Will it have survivor guilt. Will it pine for it's little friend. Then I think, maybe I should kill them both, that way neither one will miss the other. Is that psychopath thinking? "I'll kill you... I kill all your friends too just for knowing you!"

Maybe at the last minute I'll flinch... or maybe I'll go through with it and Jen will finding crying in the floor of the shower.

What if it looks at me?

"It's a nice day, Lennie. Go ahead and take off your hat."
"Okay, George. Are we going to have rabbits on the farm, George?"
"Sure, Lennie. Now look out across the river and imagine how it will be."
"Just me and you, George?"
"Sure, Lennie. Just you and me." BANG!

11 Days to go. Tick-tock, Clarice.

Monday, December 10, 2018

13 days Until I Murder the Goose (warning: explicit language)

The reason I bought two geese was so I could kill the mean one for Christmas (which ever that one turned out to be) and still keep the other as a guard-goose for my chickens.

However, on releasing the geese into my backyard, all hell broke loose. My chickens hauled ass in every direction and only came back when I physically carried them back to their coop.

The geese (who had been very quiet up until now) began squawking at about 120 decibels running in circles.

My dog didn't know whether to chase them or hide... hell even the cat got loose and made a b-line for the neighbor's yard. Thank God I'm not raising emu's.

I put food and water in the enclosure and took my dog inside to allow everything a chance to calm the hell down. However, as night fell the two geese just stood in the center of the backyard. The temperature was dropping into the 20's and I began to think that I might not have to kill the birds after all... since they were going to freeze to death anyway.

Jen and I decided we should just put the geese into their enclosure. So I calmly walked them into a corner (I was calm, the geese were freaking the hell out). When I finally caught the goose, it immediately calmed down and became as docile as a puppy... A PUPPY!

However, the other goose (for the first time) became aggressive and spread it's wings and hissed at me to put his friend down. (note: these geese came from a flock of 40 but have somehow already become compatriots). It occurred to me, that I am not just going to kill a goose... I'm going to kill a goose who has a F***ING FRIEND! I started think of that scene from pulp fiction:

Jules: I don't eat dog either.
Vincent: Ah, so by that rational, if a pig had a better personality, he would cease to be a filthy animal. Is that true?
Jules: Well we'd have to be talkin' about one charming mother f***ing pig. I mean he'd have to be ten times more charmin' than that Arnold on Green Acres, you know what I'm sayin'?

I took the goose in hand and shoved it into the enclosure... but it ran right back out.

Let's try that again.

I caught the other goose and it became super calm too... these bastards know exactly what their doing!

Jen offered to hold that goose so I could catch the other one.

SIDE NOTE: the reason I have never bread my amazing German Short-haired Pointer (as originally intended) is because I know if my wife ever played with the puppies, I would end up with a house full of dogs.

So I handed her the goose but warned her not to pet it... and damn sure don't look it in the eye!

I then grabbed the other one, whom resumed his cuddly demeanor - the prick!

Then we tossed them both inside the enclosure and covered the entrance.

I obviously began having second thoughts about the upcoming dinner. However, since I can't keep two loud ass geese in my backyard and if I sell them they will still suffer the same fate, one of the those geese is still going to be on the Christmas table.

That was the end of day two.

Sunday, December 9, 2018

14 Days Until I kill the Goose

The goose is an experiment in farming for me. I have chickens and bees but both earn their keep and will eventually die of natural causes and so I have never had to murder an animal.

Oh, I've hunted plenty but that is far different. In hunting, your interaction with the animal is momentary, distant, and sporting.

No, to raise a farm animal, means you have to feed it, care for it, and eventually kill it. I don't take this lightly -- in fact it bothers me a lot. However, I'm not planning on becoming a vegetarian, so to shy away from it is hypocritical (but understandable).

On Saturday, my wife and I drove three hours round-trip to Grenada, MS and purchased two geese. $70 for two large African Geese (I paid as much last year for a frozen one at Walmart).

I expected them to be aggressive but the farmer just grab each of them by their wing (up near the shoulder) and transferred them from his cage to mine. The two geese were sleek and quite beautiful. I quickly decided to harden my heart to them and closed the back door of my SUV.

I failed to make any sort of enclosure for them. To make matters worse, it was in the low 40's and raining all day Saturday. I did my best to build a cage for them but ended up pulling my back. So we brought the cage in the house for the night.

That was day one.

Monday, December 3, 2018

Cheaper, Stronger, Easier Beehive

This deep super cost me $5.40 to $9.40 to build (depending on the grade of lumber)! Here's how I did it:

If you've read my blog at all, you probably know just how cheap I really am. When I started to rebuild my apiary, I started off repairing old rotted boxes. When I ran out the old boxes, I began building boxes from pallets.

Eventually it became a point of pride that I could build my business without taking money from my household budget.  

Now that my hives are making a little money, I am reinvesting it. I have finally upgraded to building hives with "store-bought" lumber but 1X12-8' are more than $16 each and only make a single super.

So capitalizing on the lessons learned building hives from pallets, I am sticking with 1X4-8'. If you buy nine 1X4's you can make four deep supers. This is the cutting pattern for minimal waste:

Cut Board One: (3) 19 7/8" and (2) 14 3/4"
Cut Board Two: (5) 14 3/4" and (1) 19 7/8"
Cut Board Three: (4) 19 7/8" and (1) 14 3/4"

You will have to stagger your joints. I found a really easy way to do this. Using some scrap wood, cut two strips per super that are 3/8" X 5/8" X 16 1/4".

Next, on two of your 19 7/8" pieces cut a notch in both ends that is 3/8" X 5/8".

Assemble these two pieces to the strips. From here on all you have to do is glue and nail the rest of the boards in place.

When the whole thing is assembled. Set your table saw to 9 5/8" and trim the bottom of the super. This will make a nice square bottom. Lastly, place a handle 1X2-4" on each end of the box so that it overlaps the top two end boards.

That's it. It took me about an hour to build each super. I need 200 supers for next year, so that means 200 hours of work just on the boxes. I think a little part of me just died.



"The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The next best time is now." - Chinese Proverb